TiltSoft Blog

Stop the Auditing Companies BS nonsense

BS can mean a Bachelor of Science. But here at TiltSoft, we mean exactly what you have in mind: Bull*

What is BS in the Business World?
TiltSoft's founder, Steve (an M.Sc. by the way, not a B.Sc) has been working since 1980 and was faced with an increased amount of BS in the course of his professional life.
Tired about that, he tends to stick to real professionals. There is absolutely no reason to have to deal with incompetents hiding behind bull* facades. 

BS is a full flourishing business and has a lot of traction
Steve has noticed that some entire business plans are based on bullshit. There are a few very well known worldwide consulting/auditing companies, usually hiding behind a 3- or 4-letter acronym. They're so powerful today that they even invented an entire terminology to fool you. 
They defined and fine-tuned that vocabulary with two goals in mind:
1- impress incompetents
2- not looking like incompetents themselves

The department store Xmas package concept
Ever walked into a department store around Xmas? Each of them have at least one big Xmas tree. At its foot, you will see tens of beautiful shiny wrapped boxes, the gifts, tied with golden strings. This smells happiness, it inspires confidence and a feeling of well-being, wealth and comfort. 
But you know one thing for sure: the boxes are empty. And that's the point, what counts is the illusion.
That's the business plan 101 of those auditing companies.

How does it work?
Those BS companies usually come auditing yours. Even though they have no clue about your competence fields, they'll state that you don't know how to run a business and they're going to help you fix everything.

With no skills to provide, they will charge you a few hundred thousands dollars (if not a few millions), they're going to take over your company's way of life, nice working environment and brave, smart and dedicated employees. They're going to break everything, impose absurd strategies, new ways of thinking out of the box and best practices
Of course, they will argue that, when professionals from your company unveil the auditors incompetence, that there is "as usual, a lot of resistance to change, it's a normal stage". This is the worst BS excuse. Professionals never resist change when this latter is justified. This universal excuse to justify anything, wipe out any opposition, works exactly the same way as someone bullying co-workers, pretending then to be the one bullied.

The pity in this is that, most of the time, they will leave after the carnage, congratulate themselves and endorse the fat check at the bank. Your company will face major difficulties as everything has been disrupted.
Overtime, it's thanks to the efforts and professionalism of your existing employees, who will revert back to the way they used to work, that your company will be back on tracks. At that point, we usually reach the peak of imbecility: after the chaos ignited by those auditing companies, the CEOs and the director boards will proclame "Wow, amazing how things changed, how the company has improved!" without even realizing that it's just thanks to the employees good will. Without realizing that you looped back to where you were before those idiots came and broke everything. Your employees provided the efforts to undo what has been undone. Undone for no reasons. In the meantime, money has been wasted and thrown out of the windows, motivation took a dive among your employees. For nothing.
We're not saying that everything is perfect in every company. But usually, when things have to be fixed, it can be done directly while sharing your employees domains of competences, and they're pretty broad. Keep in mind that your employees have the knowledge, the competences your business requires. Isn't that the very reason you actually hired them?
Discussions, listening, giving them a voice can do miracles. And hey!, even better, that comes at no extra charges since it's included in their salaries.

TiltSoft advice
If you're a real professional, you will NEVER use the words listed in the bullshit cheat-sheet below (table 1).
Why? Because you're professional: therefore you don't need them. You don't need to hide anything. You don't need to pretend being something you're not.
As a simple remedy, if you have to deal with a company trying to sell you something or a service, be aware.
Those words should trigger a red flag and make you run away:

Project perimeterThe Gartner Group said...Auditing
Cockpit, DashboardsBest PracticesGovernance
Competence CenterThe Dynamic behind…New Public Management
Reformulate your needsThe “strategy” used...Brainstorming
Vision documentTransmit the elements to…Benchmark
ITIL, IS, ProcessesWorkflowTransverse project
Project impactDebriefing meetingThe Maturity
The Steering ComityThe Comfort ZoneResistance to change

Table 1: the BS cheat-sheet

Stay away from those companies, they're total fraud. They only sell smoke screens. And as you know, smoke is carcinogenic. Those companies only provide a thin, very very thin layer of varnish to supposedly let you shine in public. May be perfect to attract investors, but you will never deliver anything.
But remember, varnish always flakes off eventually, exposing the raw material.

When you have quality raw material, you don't need varnish.
Your raw material is basically your employees. Spend time hiring real professionals, be open to their advice, treat them well, pay them well, give them a voice.
When you have good employees, happy to work with you, competent persons, that raw material is gold. It shines by itself.

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